German Tour Diary 2000

by Martin McCarrick

Introduction (Oct 25th, 2000)

Well, as promised, here’s another instalment from the mad world of the Therapy? tour bus. Today we are in Tilburg, Holland but first I want to tell you about Germany. As many of you know we’ve played in Germany zillions of times over the years and we’ve got to know many towns that we enjoy repeated visits to, knowing how to find our favourite record shops, food emporiums, bars and… well, let’s just leave it at that!

So this time someone thinks “I’ve got a great idea—let’s send Therapy? to towns they’ve never been to before, therefore they’ll be completely lost and won’t be able to get into trouble”. Well, I’ve got news for the person who came up with that scheme—it takes a lot more than a new town and a different currency to keep Therapy? out of mischief. We can smell it in the air. And of course we have our loyal fans to help us out should the nights get a little lacklustre!

Central Station - Darmstadt, Germany (Oct 18th, 2000)

So when I last left you we were in Darmstadt, and a very posh venue the Central Station is. Wandering about the town with Michael and Graham there was a distinct Christmas feel about it. Twinkly lights and golden angels everywhere.

Tonight we play a brand new song, never before heard in Germany, called Joey. We’ve played it a few times now and it’s a definite contender for the new album. The show is as ever most enjoyable with crowd surfers galore, especially during Evil Elvis. Don’t know why it took six years to play that song live, but some things are worth waiting for I guess!

I had some family members at this show, in particular Helen, who was there to celebrate her 20th birthday (much champagne consumed) and my sister Lynn who regaled Graham with an unspeakable story of me as a young child that involved two monkeys and some chewing gum, but less of that, it was her first ever Therapy? show and she is now completely deaf! Next up, overnight drive to Krefeld.

Kulturfabrik - Krefeld, Germany (Oct 19th, 2000)

It’s a few degrees colder in Krefeld and the surroundings are less salubrious. In fact we’re playing in a slaughter house called Kulturfabrik! As we arrive, men in white coats are hosing bits of animal of a factory floor and seagulls are circling.

During the afternoon we do an interview with a guy who turns out to be part of the Turbonegro fan club. We are all fans of the crazy Norwegian band and he suggests we might like to play on a forthcoming Turbonegro tribute album. We really hope to able to contribute so we’ll keep you informed. Punk rock set tonight inspired by Turbonegro! Check them out!

Lindenpark - Potsdam, Germany (Oct 20th, 2000)

Now I have to make a terrible admission. Sitting here in Tilburg my memory has gone completely blank and I cannot remember anything about Potsdam or the Lindenpark where we played. I don’t know why and I’m ashamed to admit it, but I won’t fob you off with some made up bullshit.

My apologies to all the people who attended the Potsdam show. Perhaps you can contact me to jog my failing memory. My address is… err… sorry, can’t remember that either!

Kallewerk - Bad Salzungen, Germany (Oct 21st, 2000)

I do remember Bad Salzungen however. We arrived to the great news that we had sold, wait for it… 18 tickets. That’s only just more people than our full touring party. There is no PA. No lights. And it would appear no town at all. Always ready to accept a challenge our crew set to work to make a venue.

Michael and I go for a walk in the meantime. We drink cups of strange tasting coffee in the Hill Cafe. Everyone leaves as we enter. It’s like the Cafe of the Damned. We head back for soundcheck and take bets on how many people will come to the show. I’m optimistic and reckon on about 70.

We’re all wrong and come showtime there are about 300 mad bastards ready to tear the place apart. It just goes to prove that one can never judge on appearances, you never know what is lurking in the undergrowth, ready to pounce. A big overnight drive to Rostock and a well deserved day off.

Mau Club - Rostock, Germany (Oct 23rd, 2000)

Now I had been warned that Rostock was a bleak town so I was surprised to discover sunshine and a really cool town. After a fairly relaxed day off I go into town with Andy, Michael, Graham and our German promoter—the lovely Petra—who is travelling with us.

We lose Andy almost immediately when he spots a baby shop. He disappears inside to buy gifts for his son who is soon to celebrate his first birthday. Aaahh. Meanwhile Graham, Petra and I get on with some serious shopping.

Our venue the Mau Club is on the edge of the Baltic sea but there are no sailors at the show. There are a bunch off serious mentalists who are determined to have a good time. A guy in a Danzig T-shirt stands and quivers violently throughout the whole show. Very odd.

Also thanks to the chef at the Mau Club who made us the most fantastic Onion soup ever tasted by human taste buds. We would hang about and party but we have to get to Osnabrück. Again we drive overnight, helped along by watching Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me for the 100th time. But it is funny.

Works - Osnabrück, Germany (Oct 24th, 2000)

The venue, Works, appears to be a collapsing old hut at first glance, but a wander inside and things change drastically. Our dressing room is painted with painstaking detail to look like an Egyptian tomb complete with an extremely large breasted Sphinx guarding the entrance and a Mummy in the corner.

The stage in the corner has a bar which for tonight has been turned into a drum riser. Graham has to play about 2 metres above the rest of us. Beside him is a bottle of Jägermeister. By the end of soundcheck it’s an empty bottle of Jägermeister. Don’t know how that happened. Some weird Egyptian curse no doubt.

Tonight before we play a huge screen appears on stage and a Metallica concert is shown but we’re all fans of Metallica so it’s cool and I sit at the soundboard watching. Tonight we open the show with Evil Elvis, a Therapy? first. The stage has a makeshift barrier made of a flight case and a few wobbly tables. Of course we are all over them throughout the show with our crew and the in-house security ready to catch us should we fall.

During the day we’d have terrible PA problems but the show is fantastic. We end with Ten Year Plan tonight. We haven’t played it in a while but after Osnabrück I think it may be back to stay. We hang out for a while then it’s off to Tilburg, Holland which is where I am now.

Things I’ve Forgotten To Mention (Oct 25th, 2000)

We have one more show in Germany. The Markthalle in Hamburg, an old favourite of ours. It’s on the 27th of October so if you can make it, COME ON DOWN! As ever we’re having a fantastic time on tour and as ever it would not be the same if it wasn’t for you crazy rockers who really know how to have a good time and manage to infect us with your madness. So thanks a lot to all of you and we’ll see you soon.

Lastly there are a couple of things I’ve forgotten to mention. My failing memory again!

Firstly we’ve had some cool support acts this tour and in Germany we’ve had Hosh. They hail from Hamburg and are cool guys as well as a great band. They’ll be with us in Hamburg at the Markthalle. Come early and check them out.

Also we have a couple of new crew members. Pete who now does our front of house sound. If you see him shout “PETE, TURN IT UP”! Then there’s our new T-shirt seller. Many of you will now be familiar with Diamond Dave who was with us on previous tours. For the time being he is working for a TV show in England so now we have Gary. He’s a great guy who also likes to be called Bruno. So go along have a chat with him at the T-shirt stand.

That’s all from me now. Now if I could only remember Potsdam…