Shock Tactics

by Mörat for Kerrang! (1993)

Top Irish noise-mongers THERAPY? are unashamed Punk vinyl junkies—that’s why their blistering latest single Shortsharpshock has been specially pressed up on seven-inch pink vinyl with a safety-pin on the cover. MÖRAT is feeling more than a little nostalgic for the heady days of ’77, as he jaunts off to the seedier bars of Berlin with ANDY CAIRNS and Co…

Contrary to popular belief, Elvis Aaron Presley did not die a fat and bloated death on the toilet after producing his last great work. No, he is alive and kicking, and playing at a place called The Loft in snowbound Berlin. Witness that legendary lip-curl between songs, as the King drawls, “Thang you very mush. You’re very special Germans!”.

Actually, quite why Therapy? vocalist/guitarist Andy Cairns is pretending to be The King, and is introducing Accelerator as ‘Las Vegas Period Drive’, is anyone’s guess.

… Therapy?’s new EP, a blistering four-track Punk Rock assault called Shortsharpshock, takes you back to a time when gobbing on whoever was onstage was cool and the Blue Suede Shoed one finally popped his overweight clogs.

It’s even more bizarre when you consider that Therapy?’s new EP, a blistering four-track Punk Rock assault called Shortsharpshock, takes you back to a time when gobbing on whoever was onstage was cool and the Blue Suede Shoed one finally popped his overweight clogs. Shortsharpshock is so Punk Rock, in fact, that it comes on luminous pink vinyl, with a razor-blade on the label and a safety-pin on the cover.

On a not very Punk Rock, but rather toasty-warm, tour bus, I corner all three members of the band and ask, why? “I don’t know,” shrugs Cairns. “We’re basically bringing back the idea just for this single. We’re all really into Punk, especially me and Fyfe (Ewing—drums); it was the music we heard in our formative years. I remember whenever you used to get a seven-inch single—y’know, the UK Subs or something—on coloured vinyl; it was, like, a real thing to have, a real event. Punk then was all these collections of coloured vinyl singles and stuff, and it was exciting! It’s just something that hasn’t been done for a while, really.”

But in retrospect, the idea behind giving something like The Damned’s Love Song four different covers was just a ploy to get people to buy more records. “At the same time, when you’re 13 or 14, it’s brilliant collecting something like that,” argues Andy. “I mean, I remember trying to buy all the Generation X King Rocker singles, all four of them—and to me, I wasn’t being ripped off; to me, I was getting the whole set. It’s the same now with people who collect Sega games. They go out and collect loads of different games; it’s just different hobbies, and I think record collecting has become less of a hobby for people these days.”

Do you think it will decline even further because of CD? “Unfortunately, yes,” Andy nods, swigging on a can of beer. “But I know some bands—like PJ Harvey, for example—have two extra tracks on the vinyl as opposed to the CD, so you have to buy the vinyl, which is a really good idea.”

Music’s a form of escapism, so I think that if you start preaching, it makes people very uncomfortable in the audience, cos they’ve come out to forget about all that. They don’t give a f**k, for that one night.

“Vinyl’s brilliant,” he beams. “Like, when you look through all your records and you see your favourite LP, and it’s all dog-eared, and you’ve got the inner bag, and maybe the record’s on coloured vinyl too. that’s why we wanted all formats of this EP to contain the same four tracks, so that if someone wants to get a Punk Rock pink vinyl seven-inch, they can buy it without having to buy the 12″ for the two extra tracks. Or if Mr Yuppie wants to get the CD and get all the tracks, he can do that as well.”

Ironically, Shortsharpshock got its title, as Fyfe puts it: “Cos all the songs were under three minutes long, and we were worried about our Progressive Rock work-outs!”. The EP has little to do with law and order (or lack of it) and recent hysterical political and tabloid calls for the reintroduction of everything from public hanging to ‘short sharp shock’ jail terms.

“It was just a coincidence,” says Fyfe, “although we are fans of prison movies. All you have to do is watch Scum to see why they shouldn’t bring those things back.” “We’ve actually been asked to do the soundtrack for a prison movie by the guy who directed our last video,” reveals Andy. “He’s Winona Ryder’s cousin and he’s trying to get her to star in it! We’ve agreed to do it, so that should be happening at the end of this year.”

What do you think of John Major’s recent statement that we should “condemn more and understand less”? “Puritanical,” sighs Fyfe. “Scary! I mean, over Christmas I got really into prison movies—just the whole idea of institutions—and I think you have to understand the problem a bit more. What makes anyone commit a crime? Y’know, it may be because they’re psychotic, but it also might be because they’re on the dole, so that’s why they commit burglaries or whatever…”

For the next half-hour, the conversation covers everything from the tragic murder of two-year-old Jamie Bulger to the troubles in Northern Ireland. A very heavy conversation indeed. Andy passes round fresh beers. “To me,” he says, “writing any songs about politics… y’know, I’m not gonna change anybody. At the same time, from a punter’s point of view, you’re surrounded by the troubles 24 hours a day, and when you go out, the last thing you wanna hear about is the troubles you’ve been trying to avoid. Music’s a form of escapism, so I think that if you start preaching, it makes people very uncomfortable in the audience, cos they’ve come out to forget about all that. They don’t give a f**k, for that one night.”

… not as offensive as the sleeve of the Teethgrinder EP. Tell me, chaps, that’s about speed, isn’t it? “It is,” grins Fyfe. “You’re actually the first person to spot that!

Talking of which (and to lighten the subject a touch), you’ve been gaining a reputation for being out of it a lot of the time. Is that something you want following you around? “Well, it’s the truth!” laughs Andy, who’s been drinking all afternoon. “I’m not trying to build on a reputation, it’s just that I enjoy getting out of it. But I never, ever want to hurt other people, and I always think there’s some kind of mechanism in me that tells me never to go too far. The last thing I’d want is for something to happen to me, and to leave my Mum and Dad behind; that would hurt them so much just cause I was selfish enough to be careless about what I did.”

“And at the same, we’d never wanna be so drunk that people are getting ripped off. Y’know, I don’t mind having a few drinks, if you can handle it and still play a show that’s brilliant! But if you get totally off your face, and then go onstage and naff up your guitar, and some kid’s travelled 50 miles and saved for weeks for the ticket… If he sees an arsehole onstage who can’t get it together, that’s offensive!”

But not as offensive as the sleeve of the Teethgrinder EP. Tell me, chaps, that’s about speed, isn’t it? “It is,” grins Fyfe. “You’re actually the first person to spot that! Most people think it’s about this crazy old woman, but that was just a cover. When we did it, we thought it was obvious.” “We wrote it when we were out of our boxes,” chuckles Andy. “A lot of people say, ‘Where’s the sense of humour in your music?’—but the thing was, we were getting all these people thinking it was about some poor deranged woman in New York, when it’s actually about speed!”

Therapy? have just one word printed in big letters on the back of their sweatshirts: IRONY. Now you know why.

Related Interviews